02 April 2010

..and the colors of love fade !!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Love came to me last evening and sat down next to me. We remained in silence for hours. Kavya didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything either. Then, when the sun was about to set, and knowing in advance what she was going to ask me I said: - So, what are you doing here? I thought I told you not to come here anymore.

She said: - I miss you. I miss you deeply! You used to care about me. I’m hungry. You haven’t cared for me lately and I’m love-dead. Why are you doing this to me? I remember you said that I was the most special in your whole life, and that you were going to love me and give me water every day for ever. So? What happened? Seriously, I’m dying. I’m thirsty. I can’t live like this.

I said: - Yes, I know, and I remember what I said, but I can’t feed you anymore. Neither can I give you water, because you’ll be still hungry but you’ll be alive for a long time and it will be more painful for you and for me. And I know about pain, believe me, and ask my broken heart if you don’t!

- But I will die!! ! You promised many things! You are being cruel! - She said.

- I couldn’t be sadder and you know it Love. I am not a man who leaves Love abandoned. I am not a man who doesn’t feed and nurture Love. I would give anything for you Love. But I want you to understand that I just can’t, because if I do, you, Love, will live for ever but I will die of sadness and madness.

She was upset and stood up. In silence, and then looked at me. She was crying, just as I was crying. We were running out of tears.

Kavya was sad. So sad, for her and for me, and she tried to give me hope that 'the one' would come back and then Love could live with us. She tried to convince me that because I thought I had been a good person, and because I loved her so much and cared so much about her, 'the one' would keep me in her heart and she would come back someday. She tried to convince me of many really stupid things, for hours...but !

I knew Love was saying all those things because she was love starved. So I paid little attention to what she was saying. All I said was - No, I won’t love you. No I won’t give you water.

Just before the end, and after we had remained in silence for the last hour, she looked at me and said: -Are you sure you want me to die?

Kavya was the Love of his life, but he had to let her die. Because he needed to be “alive”. That means she had to remain in silence for the rest of her life and understand and Nishant will not do anything to save her. But he warned her of what is going to happen to her and how she is going to die in his thoughts.

But she said: - I’m hungry! Please, please, feed me, at least give me a small glass of water! I’m alive now. So alive... please don’t let me die!

He took his phone out, and moved away to pretend he is on a call, and to make his life simpler, ironically !!!

7 comments:

Dagny Taggart on April 2, 2010 at 4:31 PM said...

Intense.

The whole time that he was trying to kill Kavya, he was killing himself...yeah ironically, simpler his life will not be, cause he is starved more than Kavya could ever be.

"a picture speak a thousand words, here words seem to be painting a thousand pictures!"

Me like :)

Anonymous said...

Looks like you dumped someone, in the hopes of being more of yourself, did you ?

Sophie on April 3, 2010 at 12:11 PM said...

strikes a cord to this one here
http://carmalin.blogspot.com/2008/09/its-over.html

good attempt

adreamygal on April 3, 2010 at 3:11 PM said...

oh dats sad , but beautifully written !! Nishant though might seem to look hard-hearted as not to accept his love even after so much pleading , but still doing all this would have pained me him more than Kavya !! But if he had to , i am sure his reason is also justifiable !!

N hey the painting is too beautiful !!!i loved it :)

Mugdha on April 3, 2010 at 4:02 PM said...

this is beautiful!!
you are great :-)
this post just reminded me of it :-)

Jaunty anima on April 4, 2010 at 1:33 AM said...

Oh..this is painful...but beautifully put in words...!!

7-aTe-9 on April 4, 2010 at 5:13 PM said...

phew.... a big sigh after an intense read... he had to do wht he had to do. dunno if this is real, but if it is, i wonder if the choice tht he made was the easier or the harsher yet wiser one. loved it... :-)

 

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